As I reflect on the meaning of Valentine's Day, I'm reminded of all the missed opportunities we have both to love and to let ourselves be loved. I often tell my clients that the ability to love isn't a fixed trait. We can learn to love, and also how to show the kind of affection that the people closest to us crave. Showing affection is a learned skill. Depending on how we are brought up, we may have different ideas about the way love and affection is expressed and shared.
If you and your loved one's expectations aren't aligned, you should seek to understand each other's upbringings, and the ways affection was (or wasn't) manifested. It takes courage and a certain amount of vulnerability to ask for what you need, and also to try new ways to show how you care, but it's an effort that can reap the richest rewards.
If you and your loved one's expectations aren't aligned, you should seek to understand each other's upbringings, and the ways affection was (or wasn't) manifested. It takes courage and a certain amount of vulnerability to ask for what you need, and also to try new ways to show how you care, but it's an effort that can reap the richest rewards.
Kerrie Mohr, LCSW
A Good Place Therapy & Consulting
www.agoodplacetherapy.com
A Good Place Therapy & Consulting
www.agoodplacetherapy.com
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