Dianne
“Life Happens, What Do We Do With It?
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On Thursday, September 12, 2019, my career underwent a significant disruption. By that, I mean I was informed that, due to changes at my then-firm, I would be forced into a situation known as RIF, which stands for reduction in force. I was not surprised, considering the series of events from the previous year leading up to this moment. Still, it was a little unnerving for me because, at this stage of my life, I was hoping to continue my career for another four or five years, making this a sudden upheaval. However, it was also a relief due to the overwhelming feelings I dealt with each day going to work and facing my superior. It felt like a huge cinder block had been lifted off me. Although witnessing such events is common, it is still surprising because it resembles a death. You know it’s coming, but when it happens, it’s like, “Oh, boy. It is the end. The finality.” Yet, when you consider the other side of things, you think, “Okay. It’s not so bad. I’m going to be okay. This is how it has to be. I’m okay.”
I felt fortunate because someone from the IT department came to my office to give me a heads-up. So, leading up to the actual dismissal, it wasn’t shocking. Once I learned I was being let go, I immediately began packing up my office, and that’s when I received the initial call. It wasn’t earth-shattering. I was very prepared. During the call, they said, “As you know, the firm has been going through some changes, and I’m sorry, but the firm is going in another direction, and unfortunately, it does not include you. We will be terminating your services due to a RIF.” I replied, “I understand.”
After the layoff occurred, I immediately called my husband. When I told him the news, he was quiet. That evening, I asked him how he felt when I shared the news, and he replied, “Empty.” I asked, “Why?” He said, “Because of you, I felt empty.” He continued, “I felt shocked, disbelief, and empty.” I replied, “You knew I hated the bastard, so I’m glad I don’t have to report to him anymore.” After that, he said, “Well, you know what? If you’re good, I’m good.” I assured him, “I’m telling you, I’m good.” I also explained that I felt relieved. My reaction eased his mind because he understood my trepidation about going to work every day and what I had to face. So that night, it wasn’t sadness, it wasn’t bewilderment, it wasn’t anxiety; it was pure relief. I felt as if I had won the lottery or Mega Millions. I wouldn’t describe it as “overjoyed” or “excited.” It was simply relief. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.
The next day, I realized that for the first time in eleven years, I was without a job, and a bit of a reality check set in. But then I reassured myself, “I’ll be okay.” I felt happy because I no longer had to stress about the unknown at this stage in my life. I would be alright, come what may. I told myself that I needed a little time to unwind, mentally and physically, to deal with what lay ahead of me.
When you experience a disruption in your career path, as I did, especially later in life, approaching retirement, it’s crucial to pause, take a moment, breathe, breathe, breathe. Focus on what you want to achieve at this stage of your life. If you’re considering throwing in the towel, determine the course of action leading to that decision. If you plan to return to the workforce, as I did for medical benefits, establish a timeframe to jumpstart this process. Several months after being laid off, I began to unwind. I rested. My body felt much better, and my mind was in a good place. Because I took the time to rest and recover, I am now more patient and accepting of the unexpected changes that can occur at any moment. I have the ability to assess and handle these situations more calmly rather than succumbing to worry, which had previously led to anxiety and anxiety attacks. I learned to manage my anxiety by reminding myself, “It’s not the end of the world. It’s okay. I’m going to be fine.” My thoughts are calmer, and I feel significantly less anxious.
My Advice To Others:
You’re going to be fine. Stop thinking it’s the end of the world just because you’ve been laid off. It may sound cliché, but it’s true—things happen for a reason. It’s not about the money; it’s about how you feel about what you’re doing and whether you’re happy doing it. Yes, I earned a very good salary, but that salary came at a cost of stress and anxiety. Which would I prefer? The latter. I would rather have peace and be comfortable. I prefer to be in an environment where I’m happy to go to work.
A layoff affects other people, not just the individual it is happening to. As long as your family sees and knows you’re okay, it brings them relief because they observe you’re not depressed, and you’re not introducing anxiety into the living space or the relationship. They need to recognize your capabilities, mental state, and resilience. One of the things my daughter said to me was such a lovely compliment: “Mom, I know you’ll be okay. You always find a way, which is one of the things that makes you so great.”
My Reset:
There is a stigma associated with discussing being laid off. Some people feel guilty and worthless, as if it’s their fault. Shame is attached to it. What did I do? You didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. You need to acknowledge what happened and discuss it. Hey, it happened to me, too. I turned it around. Look at where I am now. It can happen to you, and if you do these things, you can steer your own course, and you’ll be fine. However, you won’t be fine if you sit, dwell, and do nothing. Maintain a positive perspective. It’s about your entire mental outlook. Sometimes, you have to go through a situation like this to realize how resilient you are, to see that you possess strength, and to understand that everything will be fine. Never lose sight of your self-esteem and your motivation as a person. More importantly, don’t let an unexpected disruption in your life defeat you. Learn and grow from it.
Where are they now?
Due to the disruption caused by COVID and the dismal job market at that time, Dianne quickly explored other avenues to stay engaged and generate income. Today, she is a successful licensed real estate agent working for a religious institution. She no longer faces the challenges and demands of corporate work, nor does she harbor resentment or disdain for her job or supervisor. She understands that sometimes in life, one must turn a setback into a comeback. Always be prepared for the inevitable; this way, the fall will not be fatal. Life is good!
