Client A.
“Only You Know What’s Best for You
”
My role was Director of Professional Relations, which meant I was responsible for developing strategic partnerships and managing customer relationships. At the time, my manager, the president of our business unit, was retiring in December. Due to a new reporting structure, the new president removed me from the executive leadership team, where I had served for the past three years, and placed me under a VP. I was in the process of revamping programs, strategies, and structures that defined my role and the organization. I received approval from my manager and the immediate past president to continue with my initiatives. This was a challenging period as I navigated internal politicking and collaboration.
I wanted to get everyone on board with what the previous president and I had agreed upon as the new direction for my role’s strategy. I had secured agreement from everyone else, but the new president remained hesitant, and we needed his full support. My current manager encouraged me to proceed, saying it was great. So I did. I continued implementing additional steps to revamp and reinvigorate our entire structure. However, I began receiving conflicting messages from different vice presidents within our organization. The VP of marketing said I had half the budget I needed, while my manager and another VP reassured me not to worry and that we would find the funds. Keep moving forward.
It all came to a head about a week and a half before I was laid off. For the first time, my manager paid attention to what I had been telling him about how dire it was if we didn’t secure the funding. I met with the VP of marketing and my manager and said, “You guys, if I don’t get more money, we don’t have advisory boards and partnerships with external societies. We don’t have all these things I’ve been working on.” Both of them replied, “Okay, let’s put a plan together.” I compiled everything and inquired about presenting it to the president. They said, “I don’t know if we’ve got enough time.” However, all the budget numbers had been finalized. After that conversation, I had a light-bulb moment. I realized something was off. That’s when I went online, cashed in all my company incentive points, and prepared myself for a potential layoff. That was on a Monday. The following Tuesday, I had been texting with my manager, who was lamenting about not being able to take a day off, among other things. He was trying to take the day off but had been called into the office for meetings. Around 5:30 p.m. that day, I received an email from my boss with a meeting notice that included someone from employee relations. I knew exactly what was coming.
I immediately called him, knowing he probably wouldn’t answer, and he didn’t. But I still felt like I had to call him. After that, I completely broke down with my husband and skipped the bedtime routine with the kids. I was a mess. I was group texting with my girlfriends. I got out a lot of the “Oh, shit,” shock kind of stuff— and shock is a perfect word for it. I was physically convulsing and shaking. I was freezing. I was like, “What is happening to me?” I’ve never had that sort of physical reaction to something before.
The next morning, I called in for our scheduled meeting with my manager and employee relations. Having been on the other side of these conversations, I tried to remain stoic and professional. Still, it’s much more humorous when you know they’re reading from a script and that they must cover all the talking points. The conversation lasted fifteen minutes. As I listened to what they were saying, especially what my manager was saying, it struck me just how impersonal everything felt. Just the day before, we had been texting and joking about plans for the following week, and now he was reading from a script. I realized I would never talk to him again. He never called me afterward, nor did he send an email. There was nothing. That was it. That was at 11:00 a.m., and I had until 10:00 p.m. to get everything off my computer before losing access to it all.
I had to buy a new phone and computer, which I did on the first day, and then I shipped all my stuff back to corporate. I was very thankful to be working remotely. During a layoff, working from home is a silver lining. I didn’t have to make that walk of shame out of the office; I just turned everything off and dropped it off at UPS.
There are mixed reviews from people about layoffs, especially when they occur remotely. My experience involved a one-on-one conversation, thank goodness, unlike those horror stories where 5,000 people are on a Zoom call, and they say, “If you’re on this call, you’re no longer needed.” Having had tough conversations with individuals, I understand the importance of keeping personal feelings aside. It must be strictly business. And it can’t be a personalized conversation—even though that’s what you crave, as you become just another number, a casualty of business.
I received a large packet of information about my separation agreement. Additionally, I got two months of continuous service and received my two-month salary. I postponed looking through all the information, including details about COBRA, because I knew I had two months to review it. I needed to be in a better frame of mind to examine it without feeling bad about myself. Many different emotions and realizations come from this experience. Now, I carry a new label because I have a different identity; I am officially “unemployed.”
I was in a bit of shock during that call. I have gone through restructurings before. The company had undergone a complete enterprise restructuring three or four years previously, and I was one of the few people who led the entire effort for our business unit. So, I had experienced this before and understood where the decisions were coming from. What I felt most during that call, though I couldn’t name it at the time, was a sense of betrayal. I had invested so much into this business and faced numerous challenges from a professional perspective.
After I was let go, I felt very strange. I immediately called my husband and texted all my friends, “Yep, I was right. They let me go.” I called my team to inform them. I had to admit to them that I didn’t know what would happen to them, but I wanted them to hear from me that I had been let go.
I was fine when I called and told people I had been laid off. I kept my composure, except for one person. I had a meeting scheduled with some of our customers and one of our external partners about two hours after I was laid off, which I had to cancel. I sent him a text message saying, “Hey, I can’t make our call. I’m going to need to cancel.” I left it at that. He immediately contacted me and said, “We’re working to get customers on the phone. We spent three weeks setting up this call. Why are you canceling at the last minute?” Instead of texting back, I accidentally called. Thankfully, I knew him well. We’ve worked together for the past fifteen or twenty years. I was a wreck, just bawling on the phone with him.
That night, I went home and told my children. My daughters were seven and ten at the time. My husband and I discussed how we would tell them. We just sat them down and told them. Having that conversation with them actually helped me the most. Their reactions were, “You’re gonna be home more? We get to hang out with you more. We get to spend more time with you. You won’t be traveling. Can you be a chaperone for my field trip?” They saw it all as a positive, whereas I viewed the layoff negatively.
My older daughter is very reflective and perceptive. She asked, “Are we going to be able to stay in this house? We just bought a cottage, Mom. Will we still be able to have that? You have a new car on order. Will we still be able to have the car? What about all these things?”
My husband stayed home with me the day after I was laid off. I needed to keep busy, so we went out, indulged in some retail therapy, and then he returned to work the following day. On Friday, I kept myself occupied by exercising and watching some movies. My oldest ended up staying home from school that Monday and Tuesday. She was largely trying to make sense of things. It felt like her life was being uprooted or disrupted as well. For her, just spending time with me was what she wanted and needed. I knew she wasn’t really sick. We ran errands, watched movies, and hung out for two days. It was great.
My Transition And Transformation:
In the first few days and even the first couple of weeks after being laid off, I allowed myself to sit and do nothing when needed. Soon after being laid off, I contacted a career coach. I knew I needed something like a stake in the ground because I wanted to move on, and I recognized I couldn’t sit and wallow in this self-pity phase forever. I also knew I needed some time just to be. Now, I get up and take a few minutes in the morning to sit and have coffee, eat breakfast after the kids are off to school, watch the morning news, and then work out. I look through the work I am doing with my coach and read various self-help books and books addressing major life transitions. Doing different things to keep myself mentally and intellectually stimulated has given me a bit of hope and optimism for what lies ahead. I am doing a much better job of volunteering at the kids’ schools and attending all their events and activities. It’s been nice to have the time and flexibility. My days are different now, and I am trying to understand how I once had time for a full-time job, given how full my days are now.
There are good days, bad days, and everything in between. Now I’m going to get emotional. I want to be a tremendous role model for my girls. It’s been great for me to realize that and to have my oldest verbalize it. It scares me how much she’s like me. She found a quote the other day where someone was talking about how people will tell you you’re crazy to leave a really good job to follow your passion. She showed it to me and asked if it looked familiar. She’s recognizing that I’m trying to figure out what I want to do while balancing what’s good for the family with what I really need at the same time. I was talking to her about a job that interested me. I swear, she is ten going on twenty-five. She said, “That sounds really interesting. You get to do what you want, and it’s still something similar to what you were doing. But it sounds more fun, and you get to do good.” It makes me feel like I’m doing something right with her if I can have this conversation with my ten-year-old, and she understands the value of doing something for the greater good.
I feel like I’m moving in the right direction. It reinforces the thoughts and feelings I’ve been having, both personally and professionally. I’m figuring out where this path will lead me. I still don’t know what will come next, and the idea of stepping into a new role that I don’t know anything about is quite intimidating. However, I can aim for something greater than where I was or explore something new, as I now have a clearer understanding of my strengths and weaknesses. I’m excited about what I’m discovering about myself.
Where are they now?
Client A.’s story truly highlights the effects a layoff can have on families, especially children. They perceive and experience this
impact through a different lens, and their processing of certain situations and information differs from that of adults. They offer a unique perspective and evoke a profound emotional response. We get up, go to work, and support our families every day. But do we take the time to consider how major life transitions affect our children and their ability to understand what is happening?
In the first few months following her layoff, Client A. was firmly against working in the same industry. She wanted to explore anything and everything, as long as it was outside her previous area of expertise. As time passed, she realized that she genuinely enjoyed the type of work she had been doing, and it was more about the constraints imposed on her that often led to her frustration and discontent. Once she felt prepared to re-enter the workforce and began responding to calls and offers for assistance from her network, she became more energized and excited about job opportunities in the industry again, but on her own terms. Ultimately, she founded her own consulting firm in the industry she had been in before her layoff, which allowed her the flexibility to also focus more on her family.
