Gina
“Embracing the journey of starting over
”
It all started with an email from my boss, letting me know to stay home and await further communication. She called me to inform me that I was no longer employed, that I needed to return all my devices, and that I would receive additional instructions from HR. I hung up the phone, unable to grasp it; it was just unbelievable. I think I was in a trance. How did this happen? I’ve never been laid off. I have worked for twenty years without any gaps in employment and always retained a job.
After it happened, I didn’t want to tell anyone. I didn’t tell anyone for weeks. I have two daughters who live with me, and they knew everything that was going on, so I had to tell them. But I wasn’t dating anyone at the time, and all my friends live far away, so I could hide away. It was panic, denial, and loss of identity all rolled into one. I was raised in a family where everything always appeared perfect on the outside. Your dirty laundry stayed inside the house, and you always put on an excellent front. My dad was always perfect, and for me, losing my job at that moment felt like the biggest failure. I’ve been through a lot, but that pivotal moment was when my whole world collapsed. And it wasn’t just my world; it was my identity and my reputation. How do I tell the world I lost my job?
It’s interesting because, as the person experiencing it, we associate a lot of shame and guilt with being laid off. I began questioning every move I had made over the past four months, trying to figure out what had gone wrong and what had transpired. I reflected on what could have happened and all my conversations, thinking I shouldn’t have said this or that, just trying to make sense of the situation. So how do you fix it? How do you move forward if you’re not 100% sure of what you did?
My panic and fear were weighing heavily on me. It was tough because I couldn’t talk to anyone. I only had my daughters to lean on, which was a lot to put on them. Thank God they’re older. The day after I was laid off, I woke up with my first thought being, “I need to find a job. I’m going to do this, I’m going to find a job, and I’m going to make it so smooth that I don’t have to tell anybody that I lost my job.”
I was in problem-solving mode and immediately went to LinkedIn. I thought, “Okay, let me find that job,” believing I could switch companies. I reviewed everyone who had ever contacted me and sent emails. Sure enough, one of the recruiters asked, “Why don’t we meet on Friday?” I met the recruiter, but, unfortunately, I was completely unprepared. I hadn’t researched the company, nor had I looked at the recruiter’s background. I didn’t even know what the position was. I was so unprepared, but happy to talk to someone who could help me find a job.
I wasn’t ready for this conversation, and I was mostly unprepared to discuss losing my job. I had no idea what I would say. As a result of that meeting, I had two phone interviews the following Tuesday, but never heard back from them. I kept looking for a job. Three weeks went by, and I began to feel depressed. I reached a point where I started to feel guilt, fear, and the “What did I do?” “How did I lose my job?” I felt responsible. During that time, I wasn’t even placing any responsibility on them. I absorbed it all. I kept telling myself, “Okay, it’s my fault I lost my job. I can’t believe I did this. I’m a failure, blah blah blah.” This went on for weeks, and I panicked. How was I going to pay the bills? I was confused and still hadn’t accepted what had happened. Then came the realization that finding a job would be hard and take more than three weeks.
I had the opportunity to work with a career coach at an outplacement office, and that was when I began to let go of negative thoughts and open up to change. Collaborating with a career coach made me realize that the job search would take much longer than I had anticipated. However, just being in a room with others who had also been laid off was comforting. I considered myself fortunate because, when I attended, there were executives who had been with their companies for 25 years. I know many people, like me, who feel like others can’t understand or relate to their challenges. I gradually came to understand that I was not alone.
While working with my career coach and exploring all my options, I kept asking myself if I truly wanted to return to retail. I have been in retail for twenty years. As I was exploring options, I realized there was an opportunity to look beyond retail. Being in a structured environment, having support, and talking to someone helped me open my eyes to new possibilities. I began to understand why the recruiters weren’t calling me back: I hadn't allowed myself to grieve the loss of my job. I wasn’t prepared to discuss being laid off, and I didn’t know what I wanted to do next; I just wasn’t ready. Losing your job is a loss. I’m not used to mourning. I don’t dwell on things. I’m a go-getter. I’m a problem-solver. I tried to do that, but couldn’t because I needed to let everything sink in.
After a lot of introspection and being open to new opportunities and ways of thinking, I reached out to a coach I admired and followed on LinkedIn. He was very bold, vulnerable, and open, which was quite different from my style because I tend to be closed off. So, I contacted him and said, “Hey, I’m exploring my next job opportunity, and I’d love to learn more about what you do.” I wanted to understand his perspective and gain insights into his work. He offered me a complimentary session, and I had a fantastic conversation with him. We began to dive into what had happened. I was not forgiving myself and held myself accountable in a challenging way without fully confronting the issue. I had been hiding from the world and hadn’t even told my mother. The thought of revealing to her that I didn’t have a job was overwhelming. I’m genuinely grateful for that conversation because I learned a lot.
The most significant piece that emerged was the loss of identity we experience when we are tied to a job. Additionally, I reflected on how hard we can be on ourselves. It took me months to accept this and let go. I considered what might have happened if they had given me a different explanation and more information. Would it have been different if I had been able to process it in another way? Possibly, but I was grappling with the fact that my once impeccable reputation was now in question. I needed clarity. It revolved around having that impeccable reputation and then watching something tarnish it in front of the world. After that coaching session, I acknowledged my feelings and understood how to move forward.
One of the things the coach challenged me on was letting the world know that I had lost my job. He asked me, “Why don’t you tell the world you lost your job? Why don’t you write an article?” It took me a good four or five days to figure out what to say. After I published the article, oh, my gosh, I received so many responses. I spent at least two weeks replying to messages. Recruiters reached out to me. People contacted me privately to say, “Thank you for putting this out there. I was let go, too.” It was almost like a “me too” movement type of thing. Seeing the number of people and how liberating it was to share with the world that I had lost my job was wild. I could finally breathe.
I did a tremendous amount of introspection. I am a different person today than I was then. I’ve learned so much about myself and my gifts, embracing my identity beyond my career. There is so much more to who I am. However, I didn’t reach this point on my own; I had a lot of coaching. To get there, you must step outside of yourself, take a holistic look, and ask, “Okay, wait a minute, what’s going on here?” Then, you realize, “Oh, yeah, I gave myself to this job.” Recognize what’s important to you, what your values are, the legacy you want to leave, and the life you want to live.
When something disruptive and traumatic happens, no matter what the transition is, you have to examine all areas of your life. Being laid off compelled me to reflect on my life and my identity. I used to be someone who believed that as long as my work life was thriving, I could manage the chaos in every other aspect of my life. I spent many years living an unbalanced life. It wasn’t until that moment and during that transformation that I realized that’s not the way to live.
Many of us associate being laid off with failure. But it’s not a failure; it was a tremendous opportunity to learn, grow, and refocus my life. It was a time to pause and ask myself, “What’s important? What do I want to do? What is the impact I’m having in my life?” I think we need to rethink how we define failure, especially regarding our support system. Understand that you’re not alone, that there’s an opportunity, and build a support system. You can’t hide from it; you must embrace it. You need to have people around you. I also didn’t want anyone’s pity. I realized that by being selective about the support system I created, I wouldn’t receive pity. Instead, I would get the support and understanding I needed. I surrounded myself with people who challenged me to see things differently.
There is so much I’ve learned about myself, and I’m going to share two key takeaways. First, it’s important to balance all aspects of my life. This realization helped me see that I wasn’t pursuing my dreams and that I wasn’t involved in the community. I didn’t incorporate all the things that mattered to me into my life. Second, I think about myself, and what I mean by that is it’s okay not to be perfect, and it’s fine to be vulnerable. Am I the best version of myself for where I am now? Yes, I’m the best version of myself in this moment, but I know there’s much more work ahead to reach the next version. After this transformation, I’m more aware of when I’m not living my true life. There’s a heightened awareness of who I want to be and how I want to show up, so when I’m not, I think, “Wait a minute, I’m not walking the talk.”
Where are they now?
It was hard for Gina to accept that after twenty years of building a fantastic career in retail, she had lost her job. Today, Gina is the founder of her own coaching business and serves as an Executive Leadership and High-Performance Coach. She has learned to find harmony and balance in her personal and professional life, which she once thought was impossible.
In early 2021, Gina faced the most challenging time of her life. She was in perfect health when she was diagnosed with breast cancer out of nowhere. Her priorities shifted, and she began a second transformational journey that included crucial health, financial, and business decisions.
After a fourteen-month journey of treatment and healing, Gina feels even more inspired and determined to help others succeed and broaden her impact on the world.
But wait… there's more.
In early 2021, Gina faced the most challenging time in her life. She was diagnosed with breast cancer out of nowhere and in perfect health. As you can imagine, being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease impacts your health and entire life. Her priorities shifted, and she began a second transformational journey that included crucial decisions about health, finances, and business.
After a 14-month treatment and healing journey, Gina learned a few important lessons she wanted to share with you.
The most essential thing in your life is taking care of yourself. You can only take care of others if you care for yourself first.
Your mental, physical, and spiritual health needs to be aligned to find fulfillment and live a life of joy, success, and achievement.
Learn self-compassion and practice self-love; give yourself a break and be your biggest cheerleader.
The most critical moment in your life is the present moment. Stop worrying about the past or the future, and enjoy the now. Be present for you, so you can experience life fully and be present with others to have deep, meaningful relationships.
Today, Gina is even more inspired and determined to help others succeed and expand her impact on the world. She shared her story so you know that you can achieve whatever dream is in your heart, no matter what obstacles you face.
